Fear caught me off guard.

Abba, when did I become so fear filled?

Was it not just yesterday that I was living in complete faith? Was it not yesterday that I lived on so little because You nudged me to give most of what was in my bank account away? Was it not yesterday that I started a business because of Your gentle push, not worrying about the details? Was it not yesterday that I married a man after only five months of knowing him (okay, it was about seven years ago now—but “yesterday” sounds better!)?

How has faith become so scarce like this, Lord?

When I was single, I was living in ultimate faith—and faith alone. It felt so tangible to me that it seemed invincible. I had no idea that fear is so subtle, creeping in ever so discreetly. Almost unnoticeable, but with a deadly assignment. Its only job is to eat away at faith until faith becomes a substance that feels like a mere crumb.

Man—I so wish I had known that faith is much like money. It’s here sometimes and gone the next. Just like money needs to be stewarded for a rainy day, so it is with the currency of faith.

Abba, although this is a short entry, I just want to thank You for the revelation. I want to thank You that You are kind enough to bring this to my attention. As if Your Son dying on the cross wasn’t enough, You love us so much that You bring us back into alignment every time we steer away—even if it’s by the smallest of inches.

You care so much.

I love You. You’re my best friend. Please help me steward my faith well so that it can grow into a blossomed tree again.

Kru x

Take me back